After an intense few weeks of network setup I've finally gotten enough free time to draw up the network diagram.
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There's an obvious error in my previous post in the IP addressing of the link but it's correct in this diagram - the same goes for any other conflicts; the network diagram has priority.
By setting the firewalls to allow everything, setting everything in the access section to allow traffic into the interfaces, setting all routing rules to proxy arp, and setting a couple of manual ARP publishes (and then saving config, factory reset and reload config which seemed to help) I was able to get a computer on the .10.x network to RDP to a computer on the .5.x network across a simulated .105.x link network (which in the lab consisted of just a patch lead between the DMZ ports of both firewalls).
If anyone can provide a more minimal config rather than just using the firewalls as expensive routers, that would be good.
At the moment, it's just a matter of get the .10.x network and .5.x networks to talk to each other through the .105.x P2P link network and get Internet traffic at both sites to go through the modems (in either bridged mode with the firewalls authenticating and NATing or let the modems do this - whatever is easier and gets it working).
Can someone please help me so I don't lose any more hair over this.
Also on a side note, if the firewall logs show connection open and no traffic comes back through the firewall (between 2 networks like DMZ and LAN for instance), does that usually mean a default gateway problem on one of the computers? The firewall shows no other error messages or IP Rule drop messages.
Thanks in advance.