First off, I'd go for the DNS-323, with the current firmware to be formally released on Tuesday, you'll have a somewhat flexible USB port that can handle printers, mass storage, or other USB devices using the SharePort utility that will be available as well.
I don't do Mac stuff, so those questions I'll skip. 

3. I use Acronis True Image Home 
www.acronis.com for image backups from my individual systems to the DNS-323.  I also use Beyond Compare 
www.scootersoftware.com for data folder synchronization.  Those two handle most of my backup and synchronization chores.
4. You can read at least the EXT2 drives on a Linux system.  You should be able to read the EXT3 drives as well, but I've heard folks saying that's a problem.
5. Don't know about this.
6. The DNS-323 will be a bit faster than the DNS-321, which is another reason to select it.  For either of these boxes, realistic transfer speeds will be somewhere in the mid teens for mb/sec reading and writing.  Enabling jumbo frames will help, I use 4kb frames.
7. RAID of any level is NOT backup!  RAID-1 is merely a method of protecting yourself from a disk hardware failure and offering increased availability.  A software glitch, malware, or simply errant fingers can quickly delete your files from both RAID-1 volumes, never to be seen again.
8. I don't use iTunes, so I can't comment on this.