In response to funchords... I don't think i can disable upnp because i think our ps3 needs/uses it?!?! not sure...
You MUST disable it on the secondary router. You MAY enable it on the primary router and if you do, it will handle devices attached to both routers.
Also, when you mean disable DHCP, you mean for the secondary (living room) router,
right.
i Should give the router a different ip adress within the lan?
Yes.
Does that mean i can still have DHCP on the primary router which will give the secondary router its IP address.
No. We're talking about changing the secondary router from 192.168.0.1 to something else (such as 192.168.0.2). We're not talking about the WAN port (which can be a DHCP client, but only for a different subnet -- we're going to leave the WAN port empty on the secondary router so that's not what you want.
Does it matter if i reserve the secondary a DHCP reservation or no??
As long as you set it to an address that is outside the DHCP range of the primary router, then it won't matter. Setting it to something that is in range is an option, but then you would want to reserve the address -- not because the secondary router will ever use it (it won't, since it is not a DHCP client itself), but to keep the primary router from assigning that address to some other device).
and should all the other devices, such as the ps3 and other desktops in the family room be given a DHCP on the primary router( i would assume no, because you said to disable DHCP on the secondary router).
The DHCP server on the primary router will assign addresses to all DHCP-capable clients on both routers. These days, that's pretty much everything -- with the exception of the secondary router, a LAN-side DHCP client capability wasn't built in because it's usually a DHCP server and it would be redundant.