As far as I'm concerned, it's only a few more issues away from brick status anyway. =)
But I do understand. Since you probably can't even PM me, I'll hunt around on the Interwebs some more and see if I can get clues. At the moment, I'm leaning towards disabling everything and trying my luck with just using the device as a Gig-E switch. Then I'll just bringing my old MN-700 out of retirement for Internet connectivity and reliability. Slow and old as it is, at least it stays up for more than 3 days at a time.
Or maybe I'll just find an old PC and set it up to route for my network. Seems like an overkill, but I'm sick of wasting hours troubleshooting only to find that a simple reboot makes my problems go away for a while. Plus, if it doesn't work, I know how to get support for it.