Posting to myself again
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a little more debug and I see that the threshold where wireless wake-on-lan no longer works is marked by router log messages of the sort:
Jun 26 22:24:33 ath0: STA 00:df:df:df:df:3f IEEE 802.11: disassoc
iated
Jun 26 22:24:33 ath0: STA 00:df:df:df:df:3f IEEE 802.11: deauthen
ticated due to local deauth request
This happens while the computer with the wireless interface is asleep, so I'm sure the DIR-601 has decided to take action on its own. Does anyone know what the deauthenticated and/or disassociation messages mean, and if there's a way to prevent it from happening?