after following all guides I even obtained an exact copy of your output from fdisk
Which makes perfect sense, since the geometry of our disks is identical and two of the created partitions are of a fixed size. Short answer to the rest of your post is that the beta firmware has correctly formatted the disk for 4K blocks. What follows is background detail in answer to specific queries or statements:
does that sample output you provided mean that all is good and the firmware formatted the drive with 4K by itself? or not? (the "512" number there confuses me)
The version of the fdisk command on the DNS323 is reporting a 512-byte sector size because a) it doesn't understand anything else and possibly b) the drive is lying to it about the real sector size (that depends on the jumper settings with the WD EARS disks). That is what we are expecting and why we are able to use multiples of 8 to determine that the drive is correctly formatted.
there's no way to tell the firmware "use 4K" or "use 512" as an option
That is probably because D-Link took the (perfectly reasonable) decision to simply format all drives - AFT or not - to be 4K compliant rather than worry about the real geometry of the installed disk(s). That might waste a (relatively) tiny chunk of space but keeps things simple.
Should I just trust that the firmware automagically detected the 4K HDD and formatted it properly?
Yes, because it doesn't need to detect the 4K disk(s) (as per my previous paragraph) and the sector alignment is correct (it would be different if you formatted the disk with firmware prior to 1.10, probably with partitions starting on odd sector boundaries)
Yet it won't tell or confirm that minor detail...
That bugged me too, hence my original post. However, all of the reading I've done since posting that confirms the advice of my colleague Mark that sector start values divisible by eight indicates that the new firmware has done things properly for 4K format disks.