Thanks guys. XCO FTW!
I tried his suggested settings because it was the easiest, first thing to do.
I tried my old setup first and got the lagging and loading, then changed settings to 20MHZ, wireless N only (had channel scan enabled already). Saved settings but didn't reboot the router. However, I did lose connection as if the router rebooted. Maybe it did, I dunno, it's in the other room.
But, so far, so good. Will keep you posted.