Ha! Operator error!
I've done the following multiple times:
Installed and uninstalled the CD software, installed and uninstalled the drivers using Windows.
I've even tried uninstalling everything D-Link, removed the card, booted up the computer, turned off onboard LAN in the BIOS, shut it down, installed the card again and manually pointed to the "correct" driver.
Still sketchy connection, drops and other assorted BS. I have it packaged and sending it back to newegg for credit.